


A Glimpse

by blueberrytrain



Category: Servamp (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Blood, Blood Drinking, Blood Loss, Emetophobia, Fainting, God Complex, Human Experimentation, Injections of whatever toxic bullshit, Needles, Transformation, Vomiting, basically how i imagine things lmao
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-19
Updated: 2017-11-19
Packaged: 2019-02-04 06:14:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,247
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12764859
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blueberrytrain/pseuds/blueberrytrain
Summary: He takes one last glimpse at himself in the mirror, processing everything he sees before hanging his towel and leaving the room, and for once in his long existence, he no longer feels like Sleepy Ash.





	A Glimpse

**Author's Note:**

> my idea of the servamp's creation is pretty specific. i basically imagined creator going mad and the process is very painful for them to go through because,,,, well,, experiments and all. its harder to describe in fanfiction because i didn't want this to be a story-truth fic; rather, i wanted it to be kuro's point of view and emotions.  
> i really like the thought of him being alone and reserved from everything, so. yEAh
> 
> i guess, enjoy despite this being a bit short and weird. :,)

_It hurts._

_It hurts._

To an extent which words cannot describe. And Sleepy Ash can’t understand why the man in front of him wants him to go through so much _pain._ His wrists burn from the coarse rope that binds them together and his body is positioned in such a way that it makes his limbs almost go numb on the table, one more needle breaking past his skin on the underside of his elbow and he’s grown so accustomed to the feeling but he still can’t deny how painful it is. Sleepy Ash watches as the blood from his body is taken into the tube and he begins to feel lightheaded, wishing it’d finally end.

Mere seconds later after that thought, he finally closes his eyes and sleeps, and he knows the cause of his fainting is from the pressure on his body. Sleepy Ash wasn’t able to process how long he’d been unconscious for, but when he wakes he immediately realizes the cause was a terrified scream of another soul, coming from the room he was in the previous time he was conscious. He registered the sounds of glass shattering and thumping, but he also thinks the pounding sound is his own heartbeat refusing to still when he realizes that _someone else is experiencing the same things._

He tries to yell, but Sleepy Ash finds that his mouth has been gagged, not to mention he’s cotton-mouthed and dehydrated from the loss of blood. He attempts to stand, only to lose his balance and collapse back to the floor. The ropes that bound his wrists before are still holding him down, but the tie isn’t as tight and even though it doesn’t allow him to move freely, he’s at least thankful he’s gained feeling to that part of his body.

A lot of the time, he’s not exactly sure what hurts more; the betrayal of the man whom he faces everyday, or the excruciating feeling of the experiments the man attempts to perform on his body. Rather, it balances itself out. They were once close, however the innocence vanished and he’d gone mad with the desire to create something, a creature, that would defy God’s laws and lived much more beyond the normal human lifespan. Unbreakable, a creature so indestructible it was almost as if creating them would give him the power of God himself. Maybe that was what he wanted, rather than the creatures themselves. To Sleepy Ash, that would explain the mistreatment after his time on the table was finished and a new subject replaced his spot.

Being the first of the bunch, he found it surprising he’d survived as long as he did. Although, some part of him wishes he didn’t; for the sake of himself and for the sake of the others that would have to live with whatever punishment this was. He’d wished the experiments failed, that the man wouldn’t be able to succeed and that the subjects brought in later would be put out of their misery sooner than later. Man is born with sin, but he just _couldn’t understand_ why _someone would want to bring forth such a thing._ Sleepy Ash wasn’t supposed to exist as what he was; neither were the others. Its only natural he’d view himself as such. _A monster_ made by someone who’s just as dangerous.

Though, as Sleepy Ash coughs up blood on the floor due to the toxic feeling in his gut, he fails to process his surroundings further and curls in on himself, the pain once again setting in as his body begins to burn with a heat unfamiliar. He resists the urge to scream because his throat isn’t prepared for that kind of pressure and he longs for something to hold, to rip apart and destroy because its the only way he can think to subdue the feeling in his abdomen, and head, caused by whatever was previously injected into his body. He can’t die from it, though. And Sleepy Ash knows this, deep down. So the most he can do is reach down into his heart of hearts and pray to the Lord that he’s unsure even exists anymore, that the others don’t have to go through the same.

* * *

As things start to calm in the home they reside in, Sleepy Ash notices changes in himself and the others that have been experimented on. When they leave and return in the dead hours of the night, he sees the stains of red on their clothing and smears of blood on their skin. The stench is overwhelming to him, and it’s sickening to see them give in to the cravings that he, too, is starting to feel. He wakes from his sleep in a sweat, the pounding in his chest almost too much to handle, and it takes all of his willpower and dozens of days, weeks, of drowning his cravings in unhealthy food to push down the desire to truly _feed._ He knows he doesn’t need it, but he supposes the undeniable need for the taste of human blood is just a side effect of the first stages of his new way of living. He’s thankful that the others offer him rations, but regardless he pushes them away and hides himself, unwilling to accept what he is.

When he finally finds it in himself to drink from another, he feels hot tears running down his face as he does so and later forces himself to vomit what he consumed, the following night, before he sleeps off the existential dread and guilt.

* * *

Stepping out of the shower, Sleepy Ash wipes the fog from the mirror in front of him and looks at himself. He stares at the scars, both faded and new; many reopened over his life and many from times long forgotten with the smallest semblance of a reminder. Puncture wounds, slashes, cuts and scrapes, too many to count on his own as some have formed new over old. He lifts a hand and pulls at his upper lip, examining his elongated canines. Sleepy Ash’s teeth are white, glinting in the bathroom light and a part of him feels pride in keeping himself so together despite his constant tiredness. A healthy taste sits in his mouth due to the new foods he’s been exposed to recently, and for once in his long existence, he feels content with the slow pace of things and he can’t think of not wanting to be alive to see everything else the world, and eternity, have to offer.

Sleepy Ash dries his hair and it frames his face in a fluffy, clean way. He dries his body before taking his clothes from the sink counter and dresses himself; an accomplishment to the him of the past that was present not too long ago. Lastly, he takes the chain to his bell, and hangs it around his neck, hearing it fall against his chest with a small _clank_ , the chime ringing through his ears from the impact.

He takes one last glimpse at himself in the mirror, processing everything he sees before hanging his towel and leaving the room, and for once in his long existence, he no longer feels like Sleepy Ash.

“Ah, Kuro! You’re finally out of the bath! I made some homemade ramen for dinner. I added pork and fried eggs since I know you like it that way, and some fried rice for a side. Is that cool for tonight?”

“...Sounds great.”

**Author's Note:**

> i wanted to add the family escaping but found it was too hard for me to fit in, so bear with me. i basically think that kuro was held as a prisoner orsm at a certain point and forced against his will to go through what he did to become a vampire? and him being the eldest regarding their transformation, he had to comfort and help the others through it. and i wish i could express that in a way that's more clear, but i hope this will suffice.
> 
> my headcanons are wild and i suck at describing my thoughts, lol


End file.
